Yeah, that won't come back and bite us in the ass

Updated: Nov 17, 2020

So with a flash, these three little devils appeared out of nowhere. Which Yanika called Mephits. Now at that point, most of us was already wounded, myself included. But I figured that just three of the things wouldn’t pose that much of an issue. Seeing as all we had to do was hit them hard enough while avoiding getting hit ourselves, easy peasy right. That is up until the point that Yanika told us that those things explode when they croak. Now as you can imagine, that changed things rather quickly as I realized that when those things would start going off, we would end up with some dead people. So I figured that the best thing we could do was to simply get our asses out of there. Fortunately, Majid, to his credit, came to the same conclusion and using some fancy magics of his he laid down a fog to provide us with cover. Right before he booked it out of the basement. At that point, I placed myself at the foot of the stairs to hold them critters back while the rest of the group fell back. Sad Thing is that as I’ve already told ya, them folks have not been blessed with a lot of common sense. And thus it took them a while to realize that it was better for us to hurry up and get out of that cellar. Eventually, they started to get their asses in gear and started moving up them stairs. All except for Yanika and Scruffy who seemed determined to go down in a blaze of glory. And while I get that, like I said ya need to know the difference between a risky and a suicidal situation and that was definitely the latter. So I was fed up with waiting patiently and I simple decided to pick up Yanika and hoist her up them stairs, figuring that even Scruffy would follow suit when he realized that he was the last one down there.


Now another thing I can tell ya bout Yanika is that she’s as stubborn as one of them little Pitbull pups. Once she’s got her fangs set in something, she ain’t letting go. Case in point, the second I set her down, she jumps back down into the damn cellar. And like I said, I am the last guy to criticize reckless abandon. Hell I do it often enough in the heat of battle when the blood starts to heat up and death is just one swing away. But the difference between me and Yanika is that unlike her, I’ve got the bulk to take the punishment that goes along with it. She however is the brainy type and not really suited for that kind of thing. So yeah, she jumps down and quickly gets her ass handed to her. Upon which Blue, who has a bit more bulk but not much, tries to be the valiant hero and jumps down after her and also gets his ass handed to him. So with a sigh, I go back inside, pick Yanika up again and pull her out so Spade can make she don’t go up and die on us. Ace, bless her, tried to do the same for Blue but seeing as she’s a little one, she didn’t really get far. Ultimately however we get him and Scuffy up the stairs and the last Mephit decided to leave things well enough at that.


With that little scuffle taken care of, we got our asses moving to the guard quarters in the Arcanium guild district. Ya know, in order to follow suit with Spade’s plan to hand over the butcher and the wife of Eric to them. Thing is, cause them was from the Racks and not The Arcanium district, they didn’t want em. Which meant we had to go and explain ourselves to the captain of the guard, Emine Ada, in order to sort that mess out. Now my first impressions off her is that, I like her. What can I say, there’s just something bout a woman who’s both attractive, confident and looks like she can hold her own in a fight that’s always easy to appreciate. Sad thing is that she is a bit to much of a stickler for the rules for my taste. Must come with the job. Anyway this is also when I first learned that not only does Majid work for the guild, apparently so did Spade at one point. Not sure if he got canned or if he ditched them but I guess that don’t really matter. Just interesting to know who I’m working with.


After a long discussion, Emine agreed to take both the Butcher and the wife of our hands and hang them immediately on the agreement that we no longer caused any problems for her. Whoops, but that’s for later. But all that, to me at least, raised the question of why we even bothered taking them there in the first place. I mean if they was just gonna end up dead anyway, why didn’t they just let me chop of their blocks back at the butcher’s place? Think about it for a sec. We would have gotten the same result but with the added bonus that instead of Spade’s monstrosity of a deception to fool that crazed Jester. We could have just handed him the bodies of them two and be done with him for ever. But no Kayne, we’ve gotta go through proper procedure cause we be civilized and polite folk and all that rubbish. Look I gets it, rules are important cause they protect the little guys from the big guys. But to me, ya gotta know when to break em and when not to. For instance, say I sees a bloke harassing a young girl. Now according to the rules that be I got to go for a guard to do their thing and hope they get there in time. And then I’m following the rules. But for me, if I sees a bloke harassing a girl, I ain’t gonna wait for proper procedure. In fact I’m gonna go beat some manners into the guy until he knows how to treat women right. Same thing here, we went through all that trouble and still they ended up dead. Had we followed my suggestion, we had saved us time, effort and future troubles with the idiot. And that my friend is what I mean with knowing when to follow the rules and knowing when to break said rules. That’s another of my life lessons there: Don’t just blindly follow the rules, use ya common sense if ya got it and know when it is best to follow em and when to bend or break em. And always keep rule number 4 in mind when ya do.


Guess you’re wondering what happened to their kid right? Well Emine didn’t want him so we had to figure something out for him. Now most of us wanted to simple hand them over to an orphanage and be done with it. But I figured that seeing as we was going to a temple tomorrow morning anyway, it might be a good idea to simple hand the child over to them. I mean they usually take better care of kids than your average orphanage anyway. Sure it meant he would be a priest in the end, but he would get an education and be off the street with a steady income. So it would be a win win kind of deal for both us and the kid. But that would have to wait for the next day as it was already in the middle of the night and I was getting sleepy.


Sadly next morning as we got back together at the Rackhole. Uh that’s what I call Ace and Spade’s place now, we got some sad news. Seems like Torrok’s age caught up to him and he kicked the bucked last night. So we did the decent thing and brought him to an undertaker so he could be put to rest. But seeing as we had to wait a bit, I decided that we should head out to the temple in order to sort out that demon business. And I figured that to get the best help around, we should visit the largest temple in town. Which of course was all the way over at the Hillside Rise at the other edge of town. Things I do for that lot.


When we finally got there, we were met by a female priest, who also happened to be a half-giant if ya believe it or not, by the name of Thyra. Now Thyra is exactly what one would think a priest should be like. Ya know kind, compassionate, willing to listen. Also don’t hurt that she’s a real knockout to look at, I mean respectively. Like I said, ya always gotta treat women gracefully and with respect. That’s just good manners. But the eye knows what the eye likes, so there is no harm in stealing a quick look as long as ya do it in a non-creepy kind of way.

Well she took us aside and agreed to listen to our story concerning that nasty stuff that the others caught down at the Racks. She also gave them a good look over just to make sure what was up. Now surprisingly, she wasn’t really convinced that this was in fact the work of a devil. Seeing as the mark resembled the symbol of some old, death goddess by the name of Arissia. And as she didn’t see any immediate danger to them, we decided to leave it at that for now. As for the kid, she got real pissed when she found out that the guards didn’t do their jobs properly by helping the kid out after killing their parents. Who says priests are always polite. So she decided to go strong arm them into doing their freaking jobs. So that problem was out of our hands as it turned into a fight between her and captain Emine. Actually I wouldn’t mind being present for that one now that I think about it. But moving on.


With that bit of business taken care of, we decided to head to the graveyard where Torrok was being buried in order to pay our last respects when it finally happened. Pissant appeared before us with two of his goons. Now I didn’t know why he was there and I couldn’t care any less even if ya paid me. I simple firmly grabbed hold of my maul, raised a battle cry that would make the heavens quake and charged at him. Now he tried to put up a fight, but unlike last time where I had fought of a small army of gobs, this time I was better rested. So before he could properly act, I had allready delivered two mighty blows upon his stinking face. And as the blood was pouring down his broken face and onto the street, true to his name, he turned tail and ran away like the coward he is. And I hurled some last insults at him, I sadly did not notice the undead guardian of the cemetery sneaking up on me. So before I could do something about it, he had already used his undead magics to knock me out.


Now following that business at the cemetery and after I had regained consciousness, we decided to venture into the sewers once more in order to give it one final look for the bloody sword. So we headed back into the butcher’s place and sadly, his critter didn’t make it. Some looters came after we had left and killed him death. Poor thing, I mean he wasn’t the prettiest to look at but he didn’t deserve that. Had I just taken the effort of releasing him the night before instead of waiting for the next day, he wouldn’t have died like that. That one is on me I’m afraid.


Oh well, after that it didn’t take Majid, along with the help of Blue and Scruffy, long to find another group of them troll like things in the sewers. And fortunately no frogs this time round. Now we weren’t sure that they had the sword, so we tried to approach them sneaklike in order to get a better look. Sadly that didn’t really work out. So we had another fight on our hands. Now as the flunkies and their shaman’s magics were holding us back, the shaman, who was alse the one holding a suspicious swordlike package, booked it through a side passage for safety. Fortunately I had already noticed another passage going down in the same direction as him and following my gut, I decided to give chase down the tunnel along with Spade. Now when we caught up to him, he was already standing next to what looked like a very deep pool in the middle of the sewer. And I just knew, even before I knew it, what the bloody asshole had done with the overrated piece of junk in that godforsaken triple damned devilshited tenth of a second that we lost sight of him. And after I beat his stinking face in, my suspicions where confirmed when neither Blue or Spade managed to find the it.

So I jumped down into the pool, in the hopes of catching it before it got too deep for me to reach. And let me tell ya, it was darker down there then a swamp dragon’s arsehole. Now fortunately the bloody thing was at least good for something as it lit up like a bonfire. Which allowed me to have a pretty good view of how it got swallowed up by this magnificent, beautiful giant croc.

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